journal

2007-09-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

If you want to know what it means to be happy, look at a flower, a bird, a child; they are perfect images of the kingdom. For they live from moment to moment in the eternal now with no past and no future. So they are spared the guilt and the anxiety that so torment human beings and they are full of the sheer joy of living, taking delight not so much in persons or things as in life itself. As long as your happiness is caused or sustained by something or someone outside of you, you are still in the land of the dead. The day you are happy for no reason whatsoever, the day you find yourself taking delight in everything and in nothing, you will know that you have found the land of unending joy called the kingdom. - Anthony De Mello "The Way To Love"

Bloom

2007-06-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

We have now had our second Bloom event, of which, besides being quite moving, reached unknown levels of reverberation...sorry to those of you who shared in that audible pain. : ) And thank you to all who helped tear down and throw trash away after the event - you were an immense help!

For those of you who are wondering what Bloom is, it is a once-a-month gathering that we just started here in Denver. We want to discover a community that we can grow with and worship with, helping the Kingdom of God "bloom" in peoples lives and in the earth. We wait with great anticipation for the next gathering on July 13th, not only because we will all gather and experience the extraordinary and somewhat sexy body byrations from our very own Michael Gungor, but also because we will be talking about "God of Justice." This is a topic that I have been deeply convicted and drawn to, and through the conviction I am determined to live differently. If we are followers of Christ and are moving forward in becoming His bride, then we should see a transformation taking place in us and in the world we are connected with. We should be bringing heaven to earth through taking care of the poor, the homeless, the widow, and the marginalized people of the world. We should love our neighbor.

But so many of us don't know where to start or know how to make it a lifestyle. If you feel like you are one of those people, I want to encourage you to find an outreach in your area to connect with and volunteer at - be it a local homeless shelter, Habitat for Humanity, after school youth programs, etc. (I will soon post a list of outreaches available in Denver). Find the poor in your own life, be it someone who is physically in need, someone who rubs you the wrong way, or someone without a friend. This love isn't shown in order to gain an "in" to talk to them about Christ, we are telling people about Christ through how we live. We are telling people about Christ every day. So, let's join this irresistible revolution and bring heaven to earth (if you haven't read "Irrestible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne, you have something to look forward to). For those of you who plan on going to Bloom, we will see you on the 13th!

NEW CD!!

2007-05-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! The Michael Gungor Band's new album "All I Need Is Here" is finally out! We started this album about nine months ago in a house in Grand Rapids, MI. It's been quite a journey since then, and we are excited about how the whole thing evolved. I hope the message is near to your heart as it is ours. We have been struggling and wrestling through faith, discovering what it means to follow Christ and live it out. So check it out at myspace.com/michaelgungor and enjoy!

Terri

2007-05-02T12:24:00.001-07:00

Man, Denver is great. We absolutely love living here. I still get lost A LOT, and have definitley been utilizing the amazing mapquest.com...Kudos to mapquest. And through the wandering about, one can expect to encounter quite a population of homeless people. It's amazing and heart breaking to hear their countless stories. One man was dying and had the "love of his life" there by his side to comfort him through it. One man, named "Spider" had actually performed surgery on himself - he had tumors in his nose...I'll spare the grotesque details. One nam beautifully serenaded us as we walked along. Another was quite sharp with quoting scripture - upon realizing that we believed in Christ, he knew all of hte verses to pull out...be's obviously had his share of "Christianese" conversations. Another lady was in a wheelchair because one of her legs had been amputated. Her name was Terri, and her toothless, ample grin and child-like enthusiasm was completely contagious.

I'm reading this book called "irrestible Revolution," and it's wrecking me. It has thrown me into this new way of looking at the world, this new way of living my life. It's full of stuff I've already been absorbing and struggling with like poverty, war, non-violence, social justice, being the church, and truly living the kind of like that Christ called us to. There is a better way to live, and we can have a better world. I'm compelled to invite the homeless and the stranger to share a meal, to become a part of someone's life who is in poverty, not just throw money at them and walk away. To live in such a way that repays violence with love and peace. We are called to it. All of us. If we're really followers of Christ, then shouldn't our lives reflect His? And what was He? He was a friend to the friendless, Father to the fatherless, dinned with sinners, hung out with prostitutes...he lived differently. He turned the tables on social edict.

So that's what I'm struggling toward. I'm trying to change the social edict that's been engrained in me, to re-examine this "American Dream" that so many people waste their lives on. And maybe someday soon Terri will be in my home, and we will share a mean. And she can teach me what it means to be a Christian.

Colorado

2006-12-29T23:04:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here on the only piece of furniture in our apartment (a super-sweet, marigold vintage sofa I just bought for a mere $200), looking at our Christmas tree that is only half-way covered in lights...hopefully our moving company gets here soon. Denver has now been our home for a week and a day, and I can see the city lights from my cool vintage sofa. So far, we have eaten some amazingly tasty Teke Masala (an Indian dish that you must try), saw Snow Patrol (the cd is better than the show), had a life changing experience watching Imogen Heap, learned a great tamboruine move that I definitely need to take on the road, found a fantastic bookstore that makes me think I'm in a Harry Potter movie, made friends with a man named Gary who frequents Starbucks every morning and every night, and had an amazing time snowboarding...bunny hills are awesome.

City people are quite interesting to me...most of them don't want to look at anyone, or have anyone look at them. Even if your bodies are crammed together so close you can smell coffee on their breath, most will look at the speck of dirt on their shoe the entire ride. There was this crazy man sitting in the back corner of the bus, dramatically reciting something about the death of Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer - I, of corse, couldn't help myself and laughed out loud. Most people acted as if they couldn't hear the jubilant vibrato, but a few grinned sheepishly. Now, I understand that you shouldn't be rude - laughing at someone is hardly edict - but it was really funny. Denver has a good portion of crazy people, and I like crazy people, so I'm sure I'm going to like Denver.

2006-07-29T21:03:00.000-07:00

It's strange how one day can hold such extremes. Some good friends of ours in Chicago just had their first baby, and I was talking with John (the Uncle of the baby) about him - John was ecstatic, so excited to be a part of this new life. Later, actually just a few minutes ago, another friend called and told me her 2-year-old daughter just died. And as she told me the story of what had happened, my mind was swimming, trying to think of a single encouraging thing to say...but nothing came. Everything I thought of sounded so cliche and trite, and I could only keep muttering "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry."

The questions "why" are endless: Why didn't God.." "Why didn't we..." These are questions all humanity asks. And I do not think it is our job to figure out the answers. We can strive and dig, and come up with our own sort of formula to make sense of things. But we live in a fallen world, where things happen that we can't quite explain or come to terms with. One couple is rejoicing, another is morning...it just isn't fair. I am reminded of a lyric in one of Nichole Nordeman's songs: "The very hand that shields your eyes from understanding is the hand that will be holding you for miles."

I pray that God will grant peace in the questions, and hope in knowing, even in tragedy, He is holding us.

End of the Season

2006-05-08T01:37:00.000-07:00

What a season. This weekend was our last Acquire The Fire event for the season. And for the last weekend, we went out with a bang - the whole band received cake right in the face. Yes...we do have it on video. And yes...you can view it at myspace.com/michaelgungor. Word to the wise - pink frosting DOES stain your face.

We also did a night of worship at a church in Mississippi this weekend - the whole service had a really great flow to it. The people were amazing, they were all right there with us from the first note. I especially enjoyed the charming Mississippi accents!

Thank you to all of you who have been a part of the ATF events, to those who attended and those who worked. We have received countless e-mails with testimonies that have made us cry, and lives that have truly been changed by the love of God. We loved worshiping with you, talking with you, sharing stories with you, and growing in this captivating, exploratory walk to become more like Christ.

Bittersweet

2006-04-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty bad with keeping up with journals, but there's nothing like a dramatic experience to inspire a blog...

I just spent the past two days in the hospital due to the stomach flu, and it turned out to be quite a bittersweet experience. The bitter part is the obvious being sick itself - I was vomiting and dizzy for seven hours straight, thus ending up in the ER dehydrated and receiving several painful needles in the arm. I also vaguely remember a nurse asking me a string of confusing questions, at which I was so drugged up I would fall asleep in the middle of my answer just to be prodded awake by her once again.

But in the midst of slipping in and out of consciousness, there was something that made me smile - and no, I’m not talking about the dynamite beds they put you in with the buttons that make your feet and head go up and down, which I am definitely looking into buying - I'm talking about Michael.

Michael made it all okay. He stayed up with me and rubbed my back, he sat for hours in the ER just watching me, he packed up a bag of things for me to do while I was in the hospital, he downloaded one of my favorite TV shows on his iPod for me to watch, he brought me flowers, and he wrote me an e-mail that made me cry. I also read a blog he put on his myspace about our day, and again, it made me cry (Yes, I am very much a girl).

There is a song I am putting up for a little while on myspace, it's called "Old Love." Please keep in mind it was just thrown together and is very rough, but I wrote if for Michael for our 5 year anniversary. This is what love is about...barf bags and all.

2005-12-28T22:04:00.000-08:00

How much of who you are stems from who people say you are?

Michael and I were driving the other day, and he told me someone commented on my potential as a musician. They had said that I could potentially be really good - and in that moment, I thought I could fly. Someone believed in me. They thought I was something. And because of the belief they had, I believed it myself. I bought into their idea of me. And the way I viewed myself slightly changed because I saw how someone else viewed me.

A couple of years ago, I started playing around with the guitar. I thought it would be so cool to know how to play...I think I learned a handfull of chords and maybe one scale. But then one of my friends told me that the guitar didn't fit me at all, they said I wasn't a guitar person (maybe because I crouched over the guitar like a goon, and sounded extremely terrible), so stick with piano. Regrettably enough, I put the guitar down. I bought into their idea of me.

How we think other people perceive us plays such a huge part on who we become. Michael and I have been married for five years now, and we have changed quite a lot from when we lived with our families - we are different people now than we were then. But when we get around his family, he suddenly takes on the role of the oldest son again, thus, becoming "the quite one" again. When I get around my family, I suddenly jump back into the roll as the baby, doing things and acting in ways that aren't normal to who I've become. Our families bring it out in us. They see as as who we were growing up, they have a position for us to fill, and we oblige. Their view of us has a direct effect on how we act around them.

Think about it - if someone thinks you're really cool, it's easy to be funny, outgoing, and carefree; but if someone thinks you're strange...you usually end up acting exactly that.

How we think God views us is how we come to Him, how we act around Him. God views us as something amazing. He views us as his friends, his children, his prize, his bride; who would we become if we bought into that? Who would we become if we bought into God's view of us?

here's some pics!

2005-10-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

2005-08-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

I love a good laugh. The kind of laugh you try so desperately to stop because everyone else finished laughing five minutes ago. The kind of laugh that erupts when you hear someone fart...er, at least, I still laugh at that. So obviously I couldn't help it...we were doing "Battle Cry" at the Teen Mania graduation ceremony, and Michael got a little crazy. I don't know how he does it, but for some reason, Michael is able to jump amazingly high every time we do this particular song. So...right at the peak of energy in the song, Michael leaps through the air, comes crashing back down through the stage, climbes out of the hole he just created, and all the while was still strumming his guitar...what a performance. Some of us laughed, and others just tried to handle it professionally and looked concerned. Anyway, who doesn't laugh at farts?

I'm reading this great book called "Searching For God Knows What" by Donald Miller. I read his book "Blue Like Jazz" a while back, and found myself on the kitchen floor crying over a pile of clothes I loved. Read the book and maybe you will find yourself in the same situation...well, maybe not crying on your floor...over clothes...maybe that's something only girls would do...or only I would do. But here is a bit out of "Searching For God Knows What" that I liked....

"To be honest, though, I don't know how much I like the idea of my spirituality being relational. I suppose I believe this is true, but the formulas seem much better than God because the formulas offer control, and God, well, He is like a person, and people, as we all know, are complicated. The trouble with people is they do not always do what you tell them to do. Try it with your kids or your spouse or strangers at the grocery store, and you will see what I mean. The formulas propose that if you do this and this and this, God will respond. When I was a kid I wanted a dolphin for the same reason.

I remember watching that television show "I Dream of Jeannie" when I was young, and I wondered at how great it would be to have a Jeannie of my own, complete with the sexy outfit, who could blink a grilled-cheese sandwich out of thin air, all the while cleaning my room and doing my homework. I realize, of course, that is very silly and there is no such thing as a genie that lives in a lamp, but it makes me wonder if secretly we don't wish God were a genie who could deliver a few wishes here and there. And that makes me wonder if what we really want from the formulas are the wishes, not God. It makes me wonder if what we really want is control, not a relationship."

Michael and I have had a lot of stuff happening lately...and some pretty big decisions to make. Thus, I went through my normal "decision making" routine: praying a lot, fasting, reading the Bible a little more than usual. This went on for a quite a while...a while longer than I had hoped. I had hoped that I would go through the steps, perform the right tricks, and the divine will of God would be waiting on the other side. The formula didn't exactly work.

Through months of doubting myself and God, I have surrendered to the idea that God being in "control" is different than how our culture views control. And where did that line come from anyway? When I think of control, I think of a machine with gears and buttons of which I can pull or press to make things happen. I heard a man once say that God is like a pop machine, you can press a button and know exactly what will come out. I was appalled, and then I found myself banging on the buttons. I do want a relationship, not control. I do want God, not wishes.

2005-07-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

Okay...so now I want to move to Belmar, NJ. It is so beautiful here! We (Josh, Michael, and I) just got done taking a late night walk on the beach, and are now lounging on the porch of our very quaint bed and breakfast. You could write some serious songs on a porch like this.

We are leading worship tomorrow night for a youth conference, and then we're off to Grand Rapids where a very wonderful friend of mine is getting married. I love being a part of someone's life long enough to be by their side at the major milestones - graduation, engagement, marriage, babies, finding God...

Speaking of relationships, I just have to say how much I love my husband. We are sitting next to each other in Cracker Barrel-style rocking chairs. He is reading, I am writing. I am laughing at him because he keeps feeling his belly, checking to see if he ate too much ice cream today. Man, I love this porch.

2005-06-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it has been way too long since my last entry, lets see if I can keep this short...

The ATF (Acquire The Fire) events ended for the season, and it is great to be home for more than two days at a time. ATF was so fun to be a part of, and we are excited to start it up again in September. To all of the people who came/ worked/ hosted the events - thank you, thank you, thank you...we had such an incredible time worhsiping with all of you!

We have been working on our next album, "Battle Cry," which will come out in the fall. We have also been working on getting our lives back in order after traveling so much - I found that it doesn't really take that long for bugs to colonize in your house. I also found that it only takes one mouse to cover every roller-skate, shoe, bike, tool, shelf, box and crevice of a garage with poop.

If you haven't already bought Nichole Nordeman's new album, "Brave," you need to stop reading this, and go buy it. With her killer ballads, she has once again turned me into a big crybaby. Another cd that you should definitely get, if you didn't already, is Mute Math...unbelievable.

I hope all is interesting with you who are reading this...and yes, that means you Kelbert.

2005-03-29T18:40:00.000-08:00

What a week! We were in Garden Valley, TX Monday through Thursday, rehearsing for next season's Acquire The Fire cd. On Thursday night we did a live recording with the interns and staff at Teen Mania - what a night. It's amazing how God can take something that looks like a disaster and turn it into an absolute miracle.

The recording was taking place the very day all of the Teen Mania interns and staff were leaving for Easter break. So, there we were, getting ready for this live recording, and everyone was leaving! The recording was supposed to start at 6:30, well 6:30 rolled around...and there were only 20 people there!

We all went outside and started discussing what we were going to do, and prayed for God's help! It's not that we couldn't worship with 20 people, but a live recording needs the energy and worship of a congregation. So, we waited until 7:00 to start, and when we walked back in, there were about 200 people in there - completely ready to worship! From the moment we started, EVERYONE was totally engaged, singing their hearts out to God!

About mid-way through the night, Michael did this song called "Children and Kings." As he sang it, I just sat down and cried, overwhelmed at how the night had turned out. God, once again, showed Himself faithful. In something that we thought was going to be a flop, He created such an intimate and free place of worship....maybe that's what He planned it to be all along.

2005-03-16T01:05:00.000-08:00

Wow...these last few events have been crazy! We've gone from Miami to Hawaii to Indiana to Grand Rapids and back to Tulsa all in a week and a half! This coming weekend is the Acquire The Fire even in Tulsa, then we are off to Garden Valley, Texas to record a live worship night at Teen Mania Headquarters. Please pray that it all goes well and that God's hand is on this project!

Hawaii was so beautiful - it's actually where Michael and I had our honeymoon, so it was cool to go back again. This one night in particular was really amazing - Michael and I took a walk to this part of the hotel grounds where you can see the ocean crashing into the rocks. It was so dark, the ocean and the sky sort of blended together, and you couldn't tell a wave was coming until it started capping. The sky was clear too. I don't think I have gazed at the stars like that in a long time. It made me feel small and made me feel so in awe of God. And as I sat there, I sort of felt like God smiled, proud in what He had created, and proud that I liked it.

2005-02-21T08:54:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! I'm so glad the new site is finally up. I love how the words write themselves when you scroll over them! ...compliments to the designer, Rob Gungor. :)

Recording "Canvas" was such an an amazing experience. It was definitely one of the most challenging and stretching things I've ever done. But it's wonderful to see the thoughts of your heart actually take shape and be available for other people to hear. I feel like that is how I process my thoughts and my heart - through song. And right in the midsts of writing, I feel like God is teaching me. And I love that.

The song I feel like God taught me the most through would have to be "The Big And The Small." I literally wrote it in tears! I was at a place where I felt like everything I was doing was so small and obsolete. I was looking at my life and thinking "What the heck am I doing? Am I making a difference?" I was longing to have that feeling of importance, like I am doing something big for God. And though I had many things on my plate, I wasn't satisfied. I wasn't being faithful with what was in my hand. But through the frustration and flailing emotions (oh the drama of being a girl), I realized I was dealing with pride. It's like it hit me in the face like a brick, and all I could do was crumble before the Lord.

I think we all deal with this at many times in our lives. We want to do something big in life, something important - but what's the measuring stick of importane? Certainly not the world, because it's clear in the Bible that we have things backwards, the way the world works is not the way God works. So even the things that look small to us - giving someone a hug, changing your baby's diaper, cleaning toilets - they are actually big in God's eyes. And somehow, he receives glory when we do them with the right heart.

It's so humbling, yet so freeing to come to that place where you are willing to do whatever, to be spent however God pleases, and not care if it is "big" or "small."

Site Launch

2005-01-19T21:01:00.000-08:00

The new site is up!!